Friends and faith: What to do if you had a friend who does not believe in God

Take a moment to consider your circle of friends.

How did you all come together? Perhaps it was through a school club, a shared interest, or a mutual hobby that ignited the spark of friendship.

Now, think about your friends’ beliefs.

Are they similar to your own, rooted in the Christian faith? Or do you find yourself surrounded by individuals who may not share your convictions?

If you ever wondered what to do when a friend does not believe in God, you are not alone. This is a common dilemma that many individuals face.

The good news is that you do not have to feel like you have sinned or need to sever ties with those who have different beliefs.

In this article, we will guide you through the steps to navigate this delicate situation. Specifically, this will provide you with practical advice on how to maintain and nurture your friendships, even when your friend’s faith does not align with your own.

A group of friends. (Photo by Helena Lopes from Unsplash)

What is biblical friendship

Before we delve into the steps you should take, it is important to grasp the biblical definition of friendship. This way, you will have an understanding of what true friendship looks like.

There is friendship not only when it is convenient (Proverbs 17:17)

In this verse, the Bible teaches that true friendship is not just about being there when it is easy or comfortable. This means that your friends should support you in both good times and bad times.

For example, if you are going through a tough period in your life, a true friend will stand by your side. They will offer their time and effort in giving you help and comfort.

Being there for you at all times (Proverbs 18:24)

According to this verse, a real friend is someone you can count on no matter what. They are there for you in every circumstance, never leaving you when you need them the most.

For instance, if you called your friend late at night because you are facing a crisis, a true friend will answer and offer support without hesitation.

They intend to correct out of love, not harm (Proverbs 27:6)

The verse highlights that genuine friends care about your well-being. If they see you making a mistake or heading down the wrong path, their intention is not to hurt you but to guide you with love and concern.

For instance, if a friend points out a harmful habit you have and suggests ways to change it, they do it because they want to see you grow and flourish, not harm your feelings.

Builds you up (Proverbs 27:17)

The Bible tells us that true friends are like iron sharpening iron, meaning they help each other become better individuals.

For instance, if you had a friend who encourages you to pursue your dreams and improve your character, they are acting in the spirit of this verse. They uplift and inspire you to be the best version of yourself, just as you do for them in return.

A person appears to be holding another hand. (Photo by Rémi Walle from Unsplash)

Friendship with an unbeliever

Your friends could be great companions, but it is important to consider how their beliefs, or lack thereof, might impact your relationship if they did not share your faith in God.

The Bible talks about how people who do not believe in God are often described as being controlled by their sinful behaviors. On the other hand, Christians are seen as people who follow God and try to do what is right.

So when it comes to making close friends, especially if you are thinking about dating someone, it is a good idea to be careful when considering people who do not share your Christian faith.

Such is reflected in 2 Corinthians 6:14, which says

“Do not team up with people who do not believe in God because what they think is right might be very different from what you believe.”

However, while it is important to be careful, it does not mean you should avoid non-Christians altogether.

You should still be friendly and open to talking to them, but you should also be watchful.

The reason for this is that people who do not follow God might not have the same values or beliefs as you do. Hanging out with them a lot could lead to challenges.

For instance, if you are not careful, you might start doing things that go against your Christian beliefs when you are around non-Christians.

Even worse, your actions could give people the wrong idea about what it means to be a Christian, and that could turn them away from God.

Two friends. (Photo by Dominic Sansotta from Unsplash)

Basic ways to influence an unbeliever

Instead of being the one influenced, you can have an impact on someone who does not believe by showing them the goodness of your faith through your actions and words.

Here are some ways you can try.

Stand firm in your faith, do not yield to their temptations

It is important to maintain your unwavering commitment to your Christian faith, even when faced with temptations presented by your unbelieving friend.

Such steadfastness not only reflects your dedication to your beliefs but also serves as a strong example to your friend of the moral and spiritual principles you hold dear.

Suppose your friend suggests skipping your regular church service to attend a social event.

In this situation, you can kindly and firmly explain that your commitment to attending church is integral to your faith

Live based on Christian values

Actions often speak louder than words. This means that the consistent embodiment of Christian values in your daily life can be a potent tool for demonstrating the essence of your faith to your unbelieving friend.

With this being said, living according to the teachings of Christ means exemplifying love, compassion, forgiveness, and selflessness in your interactions and choices.

For example, when your friend faces a challenging moment or adversity, you can offer your unwavering support. This way, you are demonstrating the Christian values of love and empathy.

Be consistent in prayer

Your dedication to prayer can serve as a visible testament to your faith and its reliance on divine guidance.

Moreover, you can openly communicate with your unbelieving friend about your prayers, emphasizing the role of faith and spirituality in your life.

Read them the scripture, if they were open to it

If your unbelieving friend expresses an interest in learning more about your faith, sharing and discussing scripture together can be a valuable approach.

It allows you to provide them with insight into the foundational texts of Christianity and facilitates meaningful conversations about the beliefs and teachings central to your faith.

Invite them to church or Bible study, but do not force them to go

Extending an invitation to your unbelieving friend to join you in attending church services or participating in a Bible study group is a way to introduce them to the Christian community and its teachings.

However, it is crucial to respect their autonomy and not impose your beliefs on them. By offering the invitation without pressure, you create an environment of openness and choice.

Two women reading a book. (Photo by Joel Muniz from Unsplash)

Be open to their point of view, do not judge

Approach their perspective with respect and empathy. Demonstrating openness and non-judgmental listening allows your friend to express their beliefs and thoughts freely.

Welcome questions

Whenever your friend raises a question or expresses curiosity about aspects of your faith, express your willingness to provide answers and engage in meaningful conversations.

Encourage them to ask freely, saying something like, “Feel free to ask me anything you would like to know about my faith or Christianity in general.”

Explain spiritual matters in a simple manner

When discussing spiritual topics with your unbelieving friend, it is beneficial to convey complex concepts clearly and straightforwardly.

Simplifying spiritual matters ensures that your explanations are accessible and comprehensible, enabling your friend to grasp the essence of your faith more easily.

Admit when you are unable to answer some of their inquiries

It is perfectly acceptable not to have all the answers to complex spiritual questions.

By admitting when you are uncertain and offering to explore those inquiries together, you foster a sense of curiosity and mutual learning.

Do not belittle them for their lack of belief

Rather than criticizing or making your friend feel inferior because of their atheism or agnosticism, affirm your respect for their beliefs.

You can say something like, “I understand that you have different beliefs, and that is fine. Our differences do not define our friendship, and we can still respect each other’s perspectives.”

A group of girls laughing. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Influence, not be influenced

It is acceptable for you to be friends with unbelievers. Building friendships with people who may not share your faith is a natural part of life.

However, it is important to maintain a balance. While it is okay to be friends, you should avoid getting too close to the point where their beliefs might easily influence your own.

Instead, take the opportunity to be the guiding light in their lives, sharing your faith and values in a way that leads them toward Christ.